Etiquette: Just Ask Sian

Relationship expert Sian Jaquet has answers to all your decorum dilemmas. Got a question for her? Send it to [email protected] with the subject line ‘Just ask Sian’.

    Relationship expert Sian Jaquet has answers to all your decorum dilemmas. Got a question for her? Send it to [email protected] with the subject line ‘Just ask Sian’.

    Double trouble

    Q: My parents separated when I was very young, and my biological dad was largely absent for the first part of my life. Although the two of us have grown closer in recent years, I’ve always pictured my stepfather walking me up the aisle. How do I break it to my biological dad?

    A: Dear Two Dads,
    Option one: Walk up the aisle with a father on each side. Option two: In the interests of having a healthy relationship with your biological dad, tell him the truth. As hard as it may be for your biological father to hear that you’d prefer to have someone else by your side, this is your opportunity to publicly acknowledge the bond you and your stepfather share. There are other ways you can involve your biological father – perhaps by signing the registrar or giving a reading.

    Snap chat

    Q: One of my best friends is trying to set up a photography business and has asked if she can photograph our day to build her profile and portfolio. I love the idea of helping her out, but she’s charging us top dollar and to be honest, the aesthetic of her images doesn’t match what I envisioned for my wedding album – at all. How do I let her down gently?

    A: Dear Photo Quandary, Tell your friend you and your fiancé have decided to have two photographers: her, because you’re happy to help her with her career, and a professional you’ll hire because their photographic style suits your theme. Then ask if she’d be generous enough to make the photos she takes a wedding gift. If she doesn’t want to support your request, you may need to rethink your friendship.

    Boys will be Boys

    Q: I have two sisters, both of whom have two kids. I love my older sister’s daughters and want them to be my flower girls, but my younger sister’s boys are complete loose cannons – they constantly misbehave and my sister and her husband rarely have them under control. Frankly, I don’t even want the two boys at the wedding because they’ll cause so much stress. How do I include the girls, but tell my younger sister to leave the boys at home?

    A: Dear Aunt of Disobedient Nephews,
    Be honest with your sister. You love your nephews, but expecting them to handle a long day is unrealistic and their behaviour will be stressful for both of you. Ask her if she fancies having a few hours off at the reception so she can relax, and offer to pay for a babysitter. If she’s offended, apologise for any hurt you may have caused and suck it up. After all, the boys are family too.

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