10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Sending an Invite

A big wedding can be fab, but if your invitation pile is towering to epic proportions and you’re starting to feel the pressure, this list of must-ask questions might be just what you need.

  • Story by Photo Anna Kidman

A big wedding can be fab, but if your invitation pile is towering to epic proportions and you’re starting to feel the pressure, this list of must-ask questions might be just what you need. 

Have I seen or spoken to this person in the last year?
If you’re not in touch with your potential guest on a semi-regular basis, you aren’t friends with them on Facebook or you haven’t actually even spoken to them in the last 12 months, chances are they can safely be cut from your list. 

Do I think this person will be in my life in five years time? 
If you’re having trouble deciding whether to invite someone, think about your relationship with this person in five years’ time. Do you see yourself still being close with them and sharing good times – or will it be a case of peering into your wedding album and wondering who on earth that person is?

Would having him or her there on your wedding day really make or break your enjoyment?
It may sounds obvious, but if your potential guest is likely to leave you grinning from ear to ear when you catch their eye during the ceremony or speeches, then they’re a definite ‘yes’. If you could take or leave seeing them on your big day, the answer to including them on a list has to be a ‘no’.

Can I invite this person without inviting their partner or a plus-one?
It can be difficult when a potential guest asks if they can bring their partner or plus-one and you’re trying to reduce the size of you guest list. If you’ve spent time with them both as a couple then yes, inviting their partner is a good idea. If you haven’t met their partner or plus-one then don’t feel obliged to extend the invitation. 

What events do I see this person at? 
If you see this person at events you’ve organised yourself – great. If you only ever see them at events organised by your other friends – you’re pretty safe not to invite them, as they’re more likely friends of friends rather than a stand-alone friendship. 

How do you feel when their name flashes up on your phone? 
If seeing your potential guest’s name on your caller ID fills you with dread or a sense of ‘what do they want?’ – chances are, they probably don’t need to be at your wedding! 

What about my work colleagues?
It’s tempting to invite friends that you work with as you see them most days and often form bonds. Keep it simple by asking yourself – if your workplace became non-existent tomorrow, would you still be friends? Do you have anything in common with this person outside of work? 

Has this person met your partner?
If you’re debating whether to include someone on your guest list and they’ve never met the person you are going to marry, this is a pretty good indicator not to invite them. It can be an awkward situation for both the guest and the newly married couple to have to introduce themselves to one or other party.

Do I really have to invite my long last aunt?
An easy way to solve questions about which family members or parents’ friends should be invited is to first determine who wants them on the guest list. If your parents would like to invite friends of their own who you don’t know, then discuss with them whether they are prepared to help offset the costs of these guests attending. 

What sort of guest will they make? 
If your potential guest is an extrovert who can really bring a party to life, keep them on your guest list as they’ll have the ability to bring people together on tables made up of guests who may not necessarily know each other. 

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